So my kids come into school every morning with all kinds of news....
"I watched a movie last night."
"I played with my dog this morning."
"I saw my uncle at the zoo."
And today's news?
"Three kids on my block were killed."
HUH? I had heard about this sad sad news, but I didn't exactly realize that it happened in our area. It happened outside of a few of my kids' homes.
The saddest part, actually, was how normal about it they all were. Like it was no different from the uncle at the zoo or the dog at home.
Having my own son, I can't imagine having to grow up in a place where things like this happen and it's just a part of where you're from.
It's days like this.....
Part of what's hard about being a working mom in this environment is that I spend so much emotional energy on other people's children and feel sometimes like my own child gets my left-overs. Of course, I know that's not true, but reality is that my son is really lucky to have two parents and an extended family who love him, keep him safe and clean and fed, and who would do anything for him. There's a part of me that thinks his little gift right now to the world is his mommy's heart for other kids. Does that make sense? Of course it might take years of therapy to get over his mom ditching him in daycare full-time, but I don't think he doubts our love for him so I'm not too concerned about it.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
Two Years Old
Two years ago, on a stormy blue-mooned night, little Sullivan Lowing came into the world!
Technically it was two years and one day, because he was born at 6am after the stormy and blue-mooned night. Anyway, point is, he's two today. I hate bragging about my child, so here is a short and abbreviated list of all the things that are awesome about him.
1. He actually has recently started to make me laugh. He makes up weird games about milk and stuff....it's hilarious.
2. He says, "Hi," to everybody. Literally, everybody. The kid has love for all - doesn't matter their age, race, sex....how smelly they are. Sometimes I confess that I steer him away from creepy looking old dudes, but he really does just love people.
3. His days are pretty much just him talking all day. He says all 60some words that he knows over and over and over. A 14 hour recitation of his own personal dictionary.
4. We toast before dinner. He likes to "cheers." So we say something like, "To Sullivan!" and he says, "Cheers," and clinks glasses and then takes a big swig of his milk.
5. Sullivan likes to clean up messes. Sometimes I'll put some mail/trash on the floor on purpose and he runs right over to put it all in the garbage can.
Anyway, that's our two-year old. I have lots of sappy sad things that might make you cry, but I'm keeping those things to myself tonight.
Technically it was two years and one day, because he was born at 6am after the stormy and blue-mooned night. Anyway, point is, he's two today. I hate bragging about my child, so here is a short and abbreviated list of all the things that are awesome about him.
1. He actually has recently started to make me laugh. He makes up weird games about milk and stuff....it's hilarious.
2. He says, "Hi," to everybody. Literally, everybody. The kid has love for all - doesn't matter their age, race, sex....how smelly they are. Sometimes I confess that I steer him away from creepy looking old dudes, but he really does just love people.
3. His days are pretty much just him talking all day. He says all 60some words that he knows over and over and over. A 14 hour recitation of his own personal dictionary.
4. We toast before dinner. He likes to "cheers." So we say something like, "To Sullivan!" and he says, "Cheers," and clinks glasses and then takes a big swig of his milk.
5. Sullivan likes to clean up messes. Sometimes I'll put some mail/trash on the floor on purpose and he runs right over to put it all in the garbage can.
Anyway, that's our two-year old. I have lots of sappy sad things that might make you cry, but I'm keeping those things to myself tonight.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Bedtime Musings
So, you know, I've been teaching in Philly for the past school year. Now, I've had significant experience, compared to some, teaching and working with kids in an inner-city setting and there's something that really disturbs me about the SD's 'attitude' or philosophy about what an effective teacher looks like. Literally looks like.
When did we sacrifice competence? Lord knows I've seen plenty of crappy teachers both white and otherwise. I'm not sure when having a 51% minority teacher rate as a goal became a good thing, or an admirable achievement. Wouldn't it be an improvement to find good, passionate, loyal educators who want to learn and do better regardless of what they look like or where they grew up? Look. I get it....I'll be the first to admit that our educational system favors one socioeconomic class over another. That the challenges my kids face at only 5 and 6 years old would be enough to put me in bed for a good 9 months doped up on prozac or something. And these kids come in every day....it's not an easy road, for sure. But to say that a child would learn better from a teacher who physically resembles them? How about just to have a teacher that actually cares about you? How about a teacher who gives you a hug in the morning because there's nobody else who will?? How about a teacher who encourages to do better than is expected? I'm just saying that if the SD spent a little more time and money invested in quality teachers...I don't know. It just seems counter-productive. Give me $500,000.00 a year and I'll come up with some awesome ideas as well. And my kids don't have pencils or any more paper to write on? Puh-lease. Just another cog....
As you see, this is my new soap-box. And here is my solution.
1. Parent education. There are like, two things parents could do to help their kids significantly. Read to them, put them to bed on time. Done.
2. Invest in early education. Basic literacy skills are so important. Unfortunately, the SD doesn't appear to care all that much unless a kid is in a testing year. And trust me from experience, it's easier to teach a kindergartner how to read than it is to teach a 3rd grader.
3. Spend a little time letting teachers know that they are valuable. And no...asking me to make a dish to bring in to a teacher appreciation potluck doesn't suffice. And neither does a lame memo. Treat our time like it's valuable. Give us the training and encouragement to do what we've been hired to do.
That's it. Where's my big old salary and my fancy Mercedes? Let's go, people...enough with the band-aids and the excuses and the scape-goats. Let's actually get something done for a change!
When did we sacrifice competence? Lord knows I've seen plenty of crappy teachers both white and otherwise. I'm not sure when having a 51% minority teacher rate as a goal became a good thing, or an admirable achievement. Wouldn't it be an improvement to find good, passionate, loyal educators who want to learn and do better regardless of what they look like or where they grew up? Look. I get it....I'll be the first to admit that our educational system favors one socioeconomic class over another. That the challenges my kids face at only 5 and 6 years old would be enough to put me in bed for a good 9 months doped up on prozac or something. And these kids come in every day....it's not an easy road, for sure. But to say that a child would learn better from a teacher who physically resembles them? How about just to have a teacher that actually cares about you? How about a teacher who gives you a hug in the morning because there's nobody else who will?? How about a teacher who encourages to do better than is expected? I'm just saying that if the SD spent a little more time and money invested in quality teachers...I don't know. It just seems counter-productive. Give me $500,000.00 a year and I'll come up with some awesome ideas as well. And my kids don't have pencils or any more paper to write on? Puh-lease. Just another cog....
As you see, this is my new soap-box. And here is my solution.
1. Parent education. There are like, two things parents could do to help their kids significantly. Read to them, put them to bed on time. Done.
2. Invest in early education. Basic literacy skills are so important. Unfortunately, the SD doesn't appear to care all that much unless a kid is in a testing year. And trust me from experience, it's easier to teach a kindergartner how to read than it is to teach a 3rd grader.
3. Spend a little time letting teachers know that they are valuable. And no...asking me to make a dish to bring in to a teacher appreciation potluck doesn't suffice. And neither does a lame memo. Treat our time like it's valuable. Give us the training and encouragement to do what we've been hired to do.
That's it. Where's my big old salary and my fancy Mercedes? Let's go, people...enough with the band-aids and the excuses and the scape-goats. Let's actually get something done for a change!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Confession:
I hate hearing other people 'brag' about their kids and I try to fly under the radar when it comes to my own.
That being said....
S is so cute these days. Coming into such a sweet age. He's come such a long way....those days in the ICU seem far far away. (although they are currently creeping up on us all too quickly again.)
My son loves to read. I always loved to read. Although in the past, oh, decade I've only been in the mood to read books I've already read. His two favorite stories these days are, "Are You My Mother?" and "Green Eggs and Ham."
In the mother book, he loves to point out the bird and the other animals, he makes noises along with the 'Snort,' and there's a certain point in the story when he starts to get really sad....just about when the baby bird has given up hope that his mommy will be found.
And in the 'Ham' book, he love to finish the sentences.
For all that's crazy about him, he absolutely loves his stories. He'll sit for a good 30-40 minutes all snuggled up in the lap, requesting his favorites by title. "Jamberry" is the blueberry book. "Jesus" is the Jesus Loves Me book. "Bus" is the "Jesus Is With Me" song. He laughs and names animals, points to his favorite parts....he even likes to read the stories back to you.
Full-time working mom kind of stinks...although we're flying to California in less than two weeks over my spring-break so there's a perk...but these little moments keep you going for sure. Not even 3 months until summer!!
I hate hearing other people 'brag' about their kids and I try to fly under the radar when it comes to my own.
That being said....
S is so cute these days. Coming into such a sweet age. He's come such a long way....those days in the ICU seem far far away. (although they are currently creeping up on us all too quickly again.)
My son loves to read. I always loved to read. Although in the past, oh, decade I've only been in the mood to read books I've already read. His two favorite stories these days are, "Are You My Mother?" and "Green Eggs and Ham."
In the mother book, he loves to point out the bird and the other animals, he makes noises along with the 'Snort,' and there's a certain point in the story when he starts to get really sad....just about when the baby bird has given up hope that his mommy will be found.
And in the 'Ham' book, he love to finish the sentences.
For all that's crazy about him, he absolutely loves his stories. He'll sit for a good 30-40 minutes all snuggled up in the lap, requesting his favorites by title. "Jamberry" is the blueberry book. "Jesus" is the Jesus Loves Me book. "Bus" is the "Jesus Is With Me" song. He laughs and names animals, points to his favorite parts....he even likes to read the stories back to you.
Full-time working mom kind of stinks...although we're flying to California in less than two weeks over my spring-break so there's a perk...but these little moments keep you going for sure. Not even 3 months until summer!!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Valentine's Resolutions
Forget New Year's Resolutions....
1. I will not wear over-sized sweatshirts from my husband's college days.
2. I got rid of all underwear and socks that have holes. Not cute. Who wants to look at big toes poking through an old sock??
3. One night a week, we will feed sullivan early and stick the kid in bed so that we can do our own thing. Wine, candles, and 20 month old don't mix so well.
4. I am thinking about not watching the Bachelor anymore. It's really kind of crappy and is TWO hours long. He hates it...I might compromise on this one. (Although with DVR it turns out to run about 75-90 minutes.
5. Keep letting him do the grocery shopping. This one I'm willing to relinquish happily.
6. Try to make the bed every morning. It's just better for mental health.
7. Make it a goal to get through #3 without talking about said child.
8. I'm considering taking longer showers...sometimes late in the day. We are somehow not paying a water bill, so until that starts coming in the mail I better milk it for all it's worth.
9. Breakfast. I would like to start enjoying it. Again, a lot can be said for mental health.
10. Get more babysitters. Go to the movies more.
1. I will not wear over-sized sweatshirts from my husband's college days.
2. I got rid of all underwear and socks that have holes. Not cute. Who wants to look at big toes poking through an old sock??
3. One night a week, we will feed sullivan early and stick the kid in bed so that we can do our own thing. Wine, candles, and 20 month old don't mix so well.
4. I am thinking about not watching the Bachelor anymore. It's really kind of crappy and is TWO hours long. He hates it...I might compromise on this one. (Although with DVR it turns out to run about 75-90 minutes.
5. Keep letting him do the grocery shopping. This one I'm willing to relinquish happily.
6. Try to make the bed every morning. It's just better for mental health.
7. Make it a goal to get through #3 without talking about said child.
8. I'm considering taking longer showers...sometimes late in the day. We are somehow not paying a water bill, so until that starts coming in the mail I better milk it for all it's worth.
9. Breakfast. I would like to start enjoying it. Again, a lot can be said for mental health.
10. Get more babysitters. Go to the movies more.
This Valentine's Day, I'm sitting with one of my favorite men, while the other helps my Grandma and parents move furniture into her new living quarters.
Oh boy...this life.
It's so hard to not complain...I have to make a painfully conscious effort about every 10 minutes to NOT let something negative escape my lips. That's half the battle, right?
So this morning has been a sweet taste of life before full-time work. French toast, some errands...cuddling under a big warm blanket while Van watches a wild animal video and mom checks all the computer stuff. Maybe someday again.
Happy President's Day!
Oh boy...this life.
It's so hard to not complain...I have to make a painfully conscious effort about every 10 minutes to NOT let something negative escape my lips. That's half the battle, right?
So this morning has been a sweet taste of life before full-time work. French toast, some errands...cuddling under a big warm blanket while Van watches a wild animal video and mom checks all the computer stuff. Maybe someday again.
Happy President's Day!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
I was sitting in traffic this evening and was paused in the middle of an intersection, and when I looked at the car facing me (we were next to each other) I saw an old friend waving! We've actually run across paths in many random places in the past few months, in fact, our sons attend the same day-care.
Anyway, it made me remember the trip David and I took to Prague two years ago, now...a few months before the birth of our son. We were standing in line at the Tesco and there was a group of younger girls in front of us, with their pile of (much improved from when we were there) groceries...talking excitedly about the dinner they were planning back in their apartment.
Back in 1999(!) I was living in Prague with the above friend and another of our friends, and I remembered that feeling and how it was a feeling I always wanted to have again. Young, excited... we were three girls bumming around an ancient city the best we knew how. There were a few rough spots, but there was so much laughter and fun ... we took every opportunity to have an adventure (most of which ended up somehow with a long walk through scary woods). Waking up in the dark to see the sunrise over the Charles Bridge, finding our hotel in Paris in the early morning with no map...no nothing. Lots of yummy food. Jumping out of a bus in Germany to load up on Pringles. Waking up in the middle of a blizzard in the Alps, getting ready for a Sound of Music tour. Flashing Scots. Want me to go on?
There's a part of me...my soul...that still remains there. I think I'm ready to find her again.
Anyway, it made me remember the trip David and I took to Prague two years ago, now...a few months before the birth of our son. We were standing in line at the Tesco and there was a group of younger girls in front of us, with their pile of (much improved from when we were there) groceries...talking excitedly about the dinner they were planning back in their apartment.
Back in 1999(!) I was living in Prague with the above friend and another of our friends, and I remembered that feeling and how it was a feeling I always wanted to have again. Young, excited... we were three girls bumming around an ancient city the best we knew how. There were a few rough spots, but there was so much laughter and fun ... we took every opportunity to have an adventure (most of which ended up somehow with a long walk through scary woods). Waking up in the dark to see the sunrise over the Charles Bridge, finding our hotel in Paris in the early morning with no map...no nothing. Lots of yummy food. Jumping out of a bus in Germany to load up on Pringles. Waking up in the middle of a blizzard in the Alps, getting ready for a Sound of Music tour. Flashing Scots. Want me to go on?
There's a part of me...my soul...that still remains there. I think I'm ready to find her again.
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